If you’ve been following this blog you’ll know that I always insist that South America is far from homogeneous. However, travelling across the continent as much as I do now, and particularly with the perspective of having lived 13 years away from this continent (in the UK, if you wonder), I start to spot some pretty quirky common denominators.
With a good dose of humour, buckets full of respect, and the sharp eye of someone who’s constantly thinking about doing business in one challenging yet incredibly rewarding part of the world, these are just ten reasons why I know you are not South American…
1- You drive in a civilised manner
Common denominator number one across South America has to be poor driving. Ranging from not-so-horribly-bad in Santiago de Chile to I’d-rather-be-up-a-rollercoaster in Lima, let’s say that careful and orderly driving is just not our forte. Add to that some pretty old/run down/unsafe cars, poor signalling/roads, and not the best policing, and you’ve got a chaotic combo. Signalling on roundabouts, by the way, will shout “gringo” louder than your passport.
2- You send birthday cards
Trying to buy a decent birthday card across most cities in South America (towns and villages are even worse) is as difficult as getting a decent summer in the UK. We just don’t do it. Either you call the person in question, or you visit them. The card becomes redundant. I’ve seen some small selections in premium shops here and there, and the odd brave Hallmark store, but that’s about it. We do take birthdays seriously, though, and celebrate them, even adult ones.
3- You don’t care about food
Doing business over lunch in the UK often means you order in some sandwiches and get on with it. Totally sacrilegious in South America. We love food, we think about it, talk about, and we want to go out for food and spoil our business visitors. It’s all about building relationships, remember…
4- You are a veggie.
Let’s not get stereotypical here. There are vegetarians in South America. I know, well, about, two? I can see the number is growing (it was none when I left 15 years ago) and there are more veggie options around (they occasionally involve veggie tarts with pastry made from lard, or soup made with beef stock, but that’s another issue). Let’s say that vegetarianism hasn’t quite caught on in gaucho land yet…
5- Religion and politics are out of boundaries.
Oh. South Americans talk politics, loudly. Not necessarily to say how much they love or hate one or another politician or party (these days, we all seem to criticise them all, so times are easier for an outsider). Religion is much more “present” in South America than in the UK. That doesn’t mean that everyone’s religious, though.
6- You’d never dream of asking your business contacts everything about their lives
Ha.
Picture this: Montevideo, 12.10pm, April 2013, business networking meeting, about 100 people in the room, man apparently in his late 50s approaches me, asks my name and why I’m there, what I do for a living. Fair enough, I ask the same back. And then he asks…
You look young, how old are you? *shock*
So, when you lived in the UK, did you get married? *shock*
And do you have any children? *faints* (he then proceeded to ask which neighbourhood I live in and which school my children attend – socioeconomic profiling or trying to find something in common?)
Again, you don’t actually have to answer these questions (same with religion and politics above) but hiding facts doesn’t actually make a fantastic start to any business relationships. The funny thing is that they will be willing to disclose that same information about themselves. They are sussing you out. It’s personal. It’s business. It’s the same.
7- You aren’t willing to put up with nonsense
Then you’ve never been to the jolly bureaucratic nightmare of South America. And you will put up with the nonsense, even if it seems purposely designed by a lunatic. Because you have no choice. The total inefficiency, incongruence and sheer stupidity of so many “trámites” (paperwork) in South America drove me insane when I first returned back from the UK. With time, you get used to it and learn to navigate it (and your cardiovascular system is forever grateful for it) and, above all, to delegate as much as you can.
8- You are prepared to write a letter of complaint
Because you had to endure some illogical timewasting from the government (see point 7 above) or because you were unfairly treated in a shop. Forget it. You will be laughed at. Mainly by your friends, actually. We just don’t do that.
9- Football is totally irrelevant to you
By this I mean soccer, as in Messi, Ronaldinho, Suárez, you know the lot. You don’t?! Then you are definitely not South American. Not everyone in South America
loves or follows football, but the huge majority does. Even if you can’t stand the sport, it will affect your social and business life, so you’d better be aware of the news and the upcoming fixtures. Bit like studying the bank holiday calendar of the country you are visiting. Or the planned trade union activity. But that’s another matter…
10- You think that the year starts on 1st January
You are so totally wrong. Any South American knows that the year starts after 6th January (Epiphany), never before. And some of us have been totally convinced that it actually starts in March. Or after Easter, maybe.
Been to South America? What sets us apart? Leave us a comment here!
Sudamericano? Cómo identificas a alguien que no es de la región? Déjanos tus comentarios!
Great post!
Nr. 6, I can see you at the lunch club meeting! If I think a while I’ll probably discover whom he was…
You made me laugh, Santiago! And you’re totally right!